Tag: family

Barefoot Devotions

The Proverbs 31 Struggle| Mom Guilt

Hannah B.
Mom Guilt | The two well-known words that mean you have felt shame, guilt, and inadequacy in your role of being a mom.  In these modern times of Pinterest, Facebook, and Instagram, we often find ourselves feeling like we are failing our family.

Let’s throw in our friendships that we are striving to keep alive, our full-time jobs, and all the laundry and house cleaning that falls on our to-do lists.  We barely have time for ourselves, sleep, and somehow manage to wake up the next morning to start it all over again.

I was never good at juggling and I certainly didn’t want to be a juggler when I grew up.  Why? Because with my coordination, all of the balls thrown in the air are bound to come tumbling around me and even hitting me on the head.

Are you struggling to be a Proverbs 31 woman?

Then there is the famous Proverbs 31 woman and you know that you are not that woman and fall short every day.  We can barely make due with everything that surrounds us.  As you read the passage, you feel overwhelmed and like a failure on an entirely different level because you can’t sew, garden, and obviously forgot to make sure your family’s winter clothes were mended.

Are we failing our family because we are not baking them tasty treats they can brag about, having a gourmet meal prepared without delay at dinner time, making sure the pantry is stocked with your kid’s favorite snacks, and they have clean clothes for the next day?

Oh, don’t forget the perfect color-coded calendar that has every activity and chore listed!

Perhaps we are failing them by struggling to survive to do all the unnecessary expectations that society has placed on us, as a mom and neglecting the care of your soul?

Let’s put aside Proverbs 31 and forget that woman for a moment, let’s look at the story of Mary and Martha!

Luke 10:38-42 NIV| As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him.  She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!” “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one.  Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”

Jesus said, “Mary has chosen what is better and it will not be taken away from her.”  Instead of being distracted by the distractions that needed to be done, she chose to sit at the feet of Jesus and listen to what he said. 

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The beginning of a Proverbs 31 woman begins with a Mary heart.  When you place God first, you will be clothed in strength, dignity, love, contentment, and compassion.  You will walk in peace and think about the good things of Christ.

[bctt tweet=”The beginning of a Proverbs 31 woman begins with a Mary heart.  When you place God first, you will be clothed in strength, dignity, love, contentment, and compassion.  You will walk in peace and think about the good things of Christ.” username=”BarefootHannahB”]

 

How To Find Your Inner Mary

In order to find balance in your life and not lose yourself,  you must sit at the feet of Jesus and rest.  Ideally, you want to do this before your family rises so that you can have your alone time reading the Word of God, praying, and listening to Him.  When you allow yourself time to do this, everything else will fall into place – even having the characteristics of a Proverbs 31 woman! Your distractions will become less like distractions and you will be joyful in providing and caring for your household.  Each day you will be renewed and as you spend time with God, these things will be added to you.

There are going to be unavoidable events that happen, you’re going to oversleep, you’re going to forget to pack your kid’s lunch, and let the bread run out before you make it to the store.  It’s okay because even on the days you fall short, praise God for His grace because it’s there!

So, don’t get caught up in being a Proverbs 31 woman, start with a Mary heart, and embrace the adventure of becoming a Proverbs 31 woman.

Xoxo,

Hannah B.

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Barefoot Devotions

Not Forgotten

barinmysoul

It always amazes me how distracted we can get on a daily basis and forget how far we have come in life. We do our day to day things and have our day to day issues.  Could be a stressful day with work and kids and so much to do and so little time to do it.  Or I just got paid and now I have no money.

Recently, I was watching a documentary on the Oklahoma City building bombing that sadly happened back in 1995.  I remembered that I had written in my journal just a few short days afterwards about how I had felt about it.  I ran upstairs and grabbed my journal out of my suitcase full of all my teenage memories.  Which is pretty fitting considering I moved around a lot as a child.  My parents were divorced and I found myself going back and forth between the both of them.

So, I started reading my journal which only consisted of a few months from that year. I must have remembered the old saying “don’t print anything on paper that you wouldn’t want broadcasted on the front page of a newspaper” Lol. As I was reading, I couldn’t stop.  All these memories that I had blocked out.  I was such a depressed and lonely teenage girl.  I wanted to reach into that journal and hug her and tell her everything would turn out okay.  My day to day journaling consisted of boy trouble, abuse, feelings of suicide and loneliness.I had wanted to have a closer relationship with Jesus but I found myself drowning in depression and anger.

I do remember times of shaking my fists and screaming out to God to take me out of this world.  To make all this go away.  To save me.  I had no mentor back then. No woman to show me what a life for a girl is supposed to be like.  I lived with my father and my 2 brothers most of the time.  I longed for someone to see into my soul how tormented I was.  I suppose I didn’t know how to articulate any of that at the time.  I only knew how to yell and fight and defend myself.  I only knew how to express how angry and sad I was.  I got myself into quite a bit of trouble. Drugs, alcohol, premarital sex. I stopped caring about myself.

I don’t actually remember much of the details of that time; even the events I wrote about, but I do remember making my mind up at some point that I was going to look forward to the future and hold onto that last thread of hope that God was real and what I’ve learned my whole life was true and that Jesus loved me and hadn’t forgotten me.

Now, as I look around at my beautiful house and the peace in this house I see how God did deliver me.  I have wonderful children.  I didn’t do too much in my life in the right order but God still blessed me none the less.  God saw through my soul and saw my pain and He delivered me.  He set me on solid ground.  I may have messed up in so many ways but being the Sovereign God He is; picked me up, dusted me off and pushed me forward.  What an amazing mighty God we serve. And the thing is, I may have just been reminded of  some of the pain I went through growing up and some of the awful things that were said to me or done to me but I’m also reminded that I am blessed and I survived. That I was saved and He did hear my cries and I was delivered from all of it.  I don’t have to feel sad about it anymore. I don’t have to be angry.  I can forgive and I am forgiven.

The annoyances that happen in my day to day are nothing compared to what The Lord God brought me out of so many years ago.

Looking back I don’t even recognize that girl in that journal.  I know that God has transformed me.  He has worked on my heart and has mended all my little holes and patched all those rips and tears.  There may be scars but they are no longer wounds.

If you are going through a time in your life where you feel like nobody could possibly understand what you are going through or you feel like you are alone; I am a living testament that you are never alone.  God does hear you and even if you don’t see his work yet, He is working on your behalf.  It is always in the right time.

He knows perfectly and strategically where you are at in your grief or your anger or your sadness.  He knows what you need and when you need it. He knows when you are open and ready to receive it. When you can lay it all down and get on your knees and recognize that He does have your back you are ready to receive it.

If you don’t have a mentor or somebody to reach out to that will listen and pray for you or pray with you, I encourage you to get out your bible and pray.  I encourage you to find a bible based church to go to and do not isolate yourself. Reach out to other people or your pastor and ask them to pray with you.  You are loved and you are never forgotten.

Luke 12:7- “But even the very hairs of your head are all numbered.  Fear not therefore: ye are of more value than many sparrows”.

Valerie C.

Barin my Soul

Barefoot Devotions

Roots & Wings

Hannah B.

I’ve been saving this blog for a special time. That time has come. So, why now? Part of the New Year, New Me.

You know my story. I would love for you to read my previous blogs or reach out to me, I would love to tell you. After we began to get settled into our new life, the feeling of missing my family and friends became all too real. When you are running around trying to accomplish “life”, you get so busy that you don’t even have time to feel or soak in what’s really going on with your heart, soul, and mind.

Yeah. The day came when there was no more running around and reality sets in. 6 hours away from everyone and everything you’ve ever known. Our family of four in a town that we didn’t know a soul.

I recently back in August had a conversation with one of my close friends about how I was settling up here in this holler. One thing I love about this girl is that I can just tell her how I really feel and it’s okay to feel how I feel. Well, I did just that. Honestly, I felt like I was betraying people in my life by creating a new life. I felt guilty. I finally realized that was silly. What she said to me really hit home. She said, “Hannah, it’s okay to have Roots and Wings!”

I have thought about it for a few months because I have been struggling with accepting that my old life is a closed chapter. Sure, my friends are still my friends and my family is still my family but I have to accept it for myself. Most importantly for God and His divine purpose for calling us here. Somehow I had to find the balance between the old and the new. Since I lived in the same place for 30 years, it proved to be much harder than I expected. Somehow by the grace of God, I came to a wonderful conclusion.

I have roots – the most colorful set of roots you will find aka my family, my friends and every experience and every revelation I have ever had to shape me into who I am. The person who I am becoming. I’ve fought hard to get here. The road has been long and it has been a struggle but there is still a greater purpose. I want to be the person God moved to this holler to be and I want to live for Him. I’m finally ready for my wings.

Perhaps you are still growing in your roots and becoming who you were called to be for the next season of your life. One day you will have your wings and you will fly into greater things. Always have faith and in thanksgiving thank Him for the good, bad and ugly. They make the roots even more colorful and when those wings spread, it will be freeing.

Xoxo,

Hannah B. (2)

Barefoot Devotions

Granny’s Kitchen Table

Hannah B.

Goodness. It’s been almost a week since I made a trip back to my hometown to see my almost 99-year-old Granny who was going to be meeting Jesus soon. I knew it was a trip to say goodbye to her. At least on this side of Heaven. I thank God for being able to say goodbye and I thank Him for telling me “you need to leave now!” I moved out of state this past summer and Granny wasn’t happy about it. I was the first one to move away from her and I know it was mostly because she was worried about my children and I being far from home. Of course, she knew we had to embark on our adventure and was proud of us. As her time on earth started to fade away, my family kept wondering what/who she was waiting for. I was able to head home earlier than planned and made it just in time. I told her we were happy, we were all doing well and we liked Kentucky.  Sure enough, 10 hours later she met Jesus face to face!

She lived a wonderful life overflowing with love for others and faith in Jesus. She believed in hard work and she worked hard every day of her life. She was humble, kind and genuine. She had a grateful heart full of thanksgiving.

She was feisty and always told you the truth even if it wasn’t nice but you knew she was being honest. Ya know how people say “kids say the darndest things!”? Well, Granny said the darndest things. She didn’t hold anything back but she was real with you. If she felt it or thought about it, you knew it.

Her life wasn’t always easy but maybe that’s why she was full of grace, love, and wisdom. She outlived 3 husbands, 4 kids, and grandchildren. She was the last of her siblings and many other friends that went before her. She lived through the Great Depression and many other hardships her generation was faced with.  She worked hard for what she had and provided for her 8 kids the best she could. Her life was extraordinary not because she was wealthy and lived an extravagant life but because she was humble, she loved and was genuine. Her kitchen table was always open and overflowing with care, love, and food. Her faith was amazingly strong and I never knew her faith to waver.

There were many times I cried at my granny’s kitchen table, told her all of my problems, told her about life, good and bad and ate my fair share of chocolate cake. She always had the best advice and knew the right words to say. Sometimes words couldn’t fix anything but her presence alone could make any problem disappear and make all things right in the world.   After all, if she could go through all the waves of life that she did, I could do it too. I can only strive to do it as awesome as she did. There was always love and forgiveness at that table and never any judgment.

Even though there won’t be any more talks at the kitchen table with the wisest person I’ve ever known, the memories and her legacy will live on. She gave me her best during my worst years, during the years I struggled to find who I am as a person and finding my way back to God. She was a big part of shaping me into who I am today and I am thankful for the 30 years I was blessed to have with such an amazing woman at her kitchen table.

It’s not about what you have but about what you have to offer that truly matters. The time spent at my Granny’s table is far more important than materials, money, and gifts. Even though she did buy me a really awesome pair of cowboy boots that must have started an uncontrollable shoe collection. Sorry, I just wanted to make you laugh!

Here is to (attempting and probably failing) living a life filled with all the wonderful qualities that made up my Granny!

Xoxo,

Hannah B. (2)

 

Barefoot Devotions

Waves Of Life 

Hannah B.

This week has been mentally, physically and spiritually draining. It seems that if it could go wrong, it did. Life is like the sea. The water can be calm and peaceful but the waves are going to come. Sometimes it’s little bumps and then it can be waves so fierce that you are knocked down and pulled under.

So how do we withstand these fierce waves?

Jesus.

Through prayer, reading God’s word, faith, and trust in a mighty God, we can continue standing as the waves crash over us.

It is important to seek God’s kingdom first because it prepares us how to react during troublesome times and we will less likely react in a fleshly manner that could lead to sinful actions. If we are too caught up in the busyness of everyday life, it’s easy to forget.

I didn’t handle much of anything this week. I learned that God already knew about my rough day or in my case a rough week and he already had a solution. Him. He is the only who could give you strength to continue standing as the waves of life bare down on you. The waves will come and they will pull you down if you are not ready.
Psalm 93:4 Mightier than the thunder of the great waters, mightier than the breakers of the sea– the LORD on high is mighty.

Xoxo,

Hannah B. (2)