Tag: resolution

Barefoot Devotions

It’s A Soul Fight

Hannah B.

Have you ever wondered why you did something particular as though you were on autopilot?  You have done this every day for the past five years and you do it without thinking about it, without acknowledging it.  But what happens when you intently start thinking about your everyday actions, encounters with others, habits, and thoughts?

This my friends is how you begin to change your mindset! Read up.

You thoughtfully and meticulously think about what you are thinking, how you are feeling, and physical actions you do without thinking about it. Then you analyze what you discover and make a conscious effort to change this behavior pattern.

I have been on a journey edifying my mind, life, and actions.  I simply want to be my best self – in my mind, heart, and spirit.  The LORD has laid it upon my heart to do such things and by His grace, love, and mercy – I will identify the areas that have been pushed under the rug so to speak and we (Jesus & I) will accomplish them according to His purpose and plan.

Sounds easy right? Well, it’s not. Sorry, y’all.

It’s hard.  It’s ugly.  It’s surprising!

Here are a few things I was surprised about: 

  • Every morning I hit the snooze button for 55 minutes until I actually got up.  The LORD opened my eyes to how many minutes I wasted.

My solution: I am going to get an actual alarm clock and set it up on the other side of the room.

  • I always checked my phone after getting out of bed.  It was the first thing I did for a good ten minutes.  All my notifications from Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, and Email were checked and cleared.  But I didn’t accomplish anything of any real importance.

My solution: I’m fighting the flesh to keep my phone out of sight in the morning and turned on silent!

  • FACEBOOK: This app is TERRIBLE.  I spent countless minutes that seem to turn into an hour strolling through the same posts. Why would I do this to myself and the day the LORD has given me?

My solution: I logged out of Facebook and only have access to the Facebook Page manager app for my blog Facebook page.  It’s quite nice.  I actually forgot my Facebook password and had to reset it.  You can laugh, it’s okay.

  • Do you know that I make coffee 95% asleep? It’s okay. I didn’t either but I guess it’s one of those you have done so long, you just do it without having to think about it.

My solution: I’m still trying to figure that one it.

With this extra time, I have been spending so much more time praying and reading the Bible. When the urge to scroll Facebook came on, I read the Bible. It’s truly been an amazing experience!

Here is what I want to share with you:

The flesh wants to disconnect us from our life source but the soul desires to connect to our life source.  We have to say no to our flesh constantly throughout every day.  It’s saying no to social media, to that cookie, to that thought you shouldn’t have, to whatever takes your eyes off of what is good.

It’s a soul fight.

Why do we have to fight the flesh so much? It’s exhausting! My answers:

1. God wants us to choose Him every day. He wants us to desire Him and cultivate the relationship with Him.  He wants us to make choices that point toward Him.  Otherwise, we wouldn’t have free will to make choices we desire to make.

2. The enemy knows that we are weak to the desires of the world and uses the flesh to distract us.

In our choices, especially when the choice points to Jesus, He is with us. He doesn’t leave us. He doesn’t forsake us.  He gives us strength. He gives us everything we need to overcome whatever life throws our way.

When we acknowledge that His ways are better and we decide to pick up our cross and follow Him, He rewards us in our discomfort. I don’t mean that you will be given every desire of your heart but what I mean is that you will be given the needs of your soul. For example, peace, joy when the world tells you to be sad, hope when the world tells you it isn’t going to happen, and faith!

Jesus did the hard part. He just wants us to crucify our fleshy desires and follow Him.

And He still rewards us. He still gives us peace, reassurance, and love through every moment we face.

Start by committing to Him. Pray. Ask. Seek and you will find.

My favorite thing this past week has been praying this simple prayer:

Heavenly Father, Your ways are higher and far better than mine. You know my needs before I do, you know what troubles my heart even when I can not speak the words. I am seeking you and your desire for me and the word you want to give me.”

I will open my Bible to a random page and read what I find.

You might be surprised when you look down on the page.

Keep up the soul fight, y’all!

Xoxo,

Hannah B.

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Barefoot Devotions

Not Forgotten

barinmysoul

It always amazes me how distracted we can get on a daily basis and forget how far we have come in life. We do our day to day things and have our day to day issues.  Could be a stressful day with work and kids and so much to do and so little time to do it.  Or I just got paid and now I have no money.

Recently, I was watching a documentary on the Oklahoma City building bombing that sadly happened back in 1995.  I remembered that I had written in my journal just a few short days afterwards about how I had felt about it.  I ran upstairs and grabbed my journal out of my suitcase full of all my teenage memories.  Which is pretty fitting considering I moved around a lot as a child.  My parents were divorced and I found myself going back and forth between the both of them.

So, I started reading my journal which only consisted of a few months from that year. I must have remembered the old saying “don’t print anything on paper that you wouldn’t want broadcasted on the front page of a newspaper” Lol. As I was reading, I couldn’t stop.  All these memories that I had blocked out.  I was such a depressed and lonely teenage girl.  I wanted to reach into that journal and hug her and tell her everything would turn out okay.  My day to day journaling consisted of boy trouble, abuse, feelings of suicide and loneliness.I had wanted to have a closer relationship with Jesus but I found myself drowning in depression and anger.

I do remember times of shaking my fists and screaming out to God to take me out of this world.  To make all this go away.  To save me.  I had no mentor back then. No woman to show me what a life for a girl is supposed to be like.  I lived with my father and my 2 brothers most of the time.  I longed for someone to see into my soul how tormented I was.  I suppose I didn’t know how to articulate any of that at the time.  I only knew how to yell and fight and defend myself.  I only knew how to express how angry and sad I was.  I got myself into quite a bit of trouble. Drugs, alcohol, premarital sex. I stopped caring about myself.

I don’t actually remember much of the details of that time; even the events I wrote about, but I do remember making my mind up at some point that I was going to look forward to the future and hold onto that last thread of hope that God was real and what I’ve learned my whole life was true and that Jesus loved me and hadn’t forgotten me.

Now, as I look around at my beautiful house and the peace in this house I see how God did deliver me.  I have wonderful children.  I didn’t do too much in my life in the right order but God still blessed me none the less.  God saw through my soul and saw my pain and He delivered me.  He set me on solid ground.  I may have messed up in so many ways but being the Sovereign God He is; picked me up, dusted me off and pushed me forward.  What an amazing mighty God we serve. And the thing is, I may have just been reminded of  some of the pain I went through growing up and some of the awful things that were said to me or done to me but I’m also reminded that I am blessed and I survived. That I was saved and He did hear my cries and I was delivered from all of it.  I don’t have to feel sad about it anymore. I don’t have to be angry.  I can forgive and I am forgiven.

The annoyances that happen in my day to day are nothing compared to what The Lord God brought me out of so many years ago.

Looking back I don’t even recognize that girl in that journal.  I know that God has transformed me.  He has worked on my heart and has mended all my little holes and patched all those rips and tears.  There may be scars but they are no longer wounds.

If you are going through a time in your life where you feel like nobody could possibly understand what you are going through or you feel like you are alone; I am a living testament that you are never alone.  God does hear you and even if you don’t see his work yet, He is working on your behalf.  It is always in the right time.

He knows perfectly and strategically where you are at in your grief or your anger or your sadness.  He knows what you need and when you need it. He knows when you are open and ready to receive it. When you can lay it all down and get on your knees and recognize that He does have your back you are ready to receive it.

If you don’t have a mentor or somebody to reach out to that will listen and pray for you or pray with you, I encourage you to get out your bible and pray.  I encourage you to find a bible based church to go to and do not isolate yourself. Reach out to other people or your pastor and ask them to pray with you.  You are loved and you are never forgotten.

Luke 12:7- “But even the very hairs of your head are all numbered.  Fear not therefore: ye are of more value than many sparrows”.

Valerie C.

Barin my Soul

The How To Series

How To Forgive When You’re Angry

Hannah B.

Have you ever experienced a situation that has left you feeling abandoned, broken and crushed by someone you loved and trusted? Perhaps your spouse has committed adultery, a loved one has let you down a time or two or a close friends has shared something you told them in private. There can be a multitude of situations that have left you feeling this way. It doesn’t matter what your situation is but we all have had experiences that have caused our hearts to hurt. I wish I could wrap my arms around you and embrace you. I will leave you with this verse that has carried me through many of my own heart breaks.

Psalm 34:18 The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

At first, you are hurting and grieving as you are waiting on your mind to process the events that have recently unfolded in front of you. You ask yourself how this happened or how you got to where you are and the famous question of why. If you are anything like me, I need to know the why to everything. I overthink and I over analyze the situation at hand until all of my emotions eat me a live. Most of the time, I let them because I like to soak in the “I’m right and you’re wrong mentality” or “I have the right to be angry because you did this”. Then comes the rage, the anger, and the need for revenge. Yep. It just gets uglier and uglier doesn’t it?

Proverbs 29:11 Fools give full vent to their rage, but the wise bring calm in the end.

I’ve been that person in this situation and I’ve been the one that can’t let go of something. I understand and I can relate to these fleshly reactions and emotions. Unfortunately, it’s normal for us humans BUT it’s not good for our soul and it’s not what God intends for our life.

James 1:20 because human anger does not produce righteousness that God desires.

I’m not saying it’s not okay to be angry or feel the way you do because it’s quite the opposite. Those are your feelings and you have every right to feel them and work your way through them but you must control your reactions and your words.

Ephesians 4:26-27 “In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold. 

What does this mean? Well, we can gather that anger itself is not a sin but it’s your reactions that can be sinful if not controlled. The next part basically means that the sooner you let go of your anger, the better off YOU will be. Anger can fester like a nasty boil inside your heart than can result in a hardened heart. From the last part, I gather that the devil would love for you to let your anger fester because it allows him time to cause chaos in your life. Have you ever noticed that when you keep thinking about the event that caused your anger, you just get angrier, even more bitter and resentful? Perhaps the devil has seeped in through an open foothold that Ephesians warns us about. This is why it is so important to let go of the anger as quickly as we can because the devil will use it to his advantage.

Can you see the damage that has been done because we didn’t let go of our anger and forgive? The poison that caused our soul to rot. Can’t you see that the only one you are hurting is you? I can tell you that the person you are angry at is probably enjoying their life without being bothered by your anger and the unforgiveness in your heart.

How in the world do we move forward and forgive?

It starts in our heart and mind with a decision to forgive the person who wronged you. Say it out loud and pray it to Jesus. There is power in the willingness to forgive someone.

Matthew 6:14 For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your Heavenly Father will also forgive you.

 

It’s not going to be easy but Jesus is with you every step of the way. If you are feeling hurt or if your mind is in over drive with ungodly thoughts about this person, pray and call out to Jesus. The devil will creep in and remind you of what this person said or did but you will need to be prepared to stop him quickly and not allow him a foothold into your mind. You can’t do this on your own but with the help of the Holy Spirit, you will conquer. You just have to ask.

Here is where you may think I have really gone coo coo…

Pray for the person who hurt you. Bless this person and do not curse. Pray for God’s will over this person’s life and their happiness and well being. Do it for no reason and do it when the devil attempts you to curse this person. Do it out of love. They hurt you out of weakness or wickedness and if we don’t pray for them we may never see the best that they could be. Most importantly, pray that the footholds the devil has over their life is broken.

Luke 6:27-28 But to you are listening I say: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.

 

You might be wondering, “Now what do I do about this person in my life?”

That is your decision to pray about. You know what’s best for you. Listen to the still small voice that you hear. Follow your instincts. Just because you have forgiven someone does not mean you allow them back in your life. It just means that you have found peace with them and the circumstances. It may take months or years to rebuild the trust and it may not ever happen. There is not anything wrong with loving and praying for people from afar.

Here is the real beauty in this: You are setting yourself free and tearing down walls that have been built around your heart. You are setting yourself up for God’s blessing and His peace that surpasses all understanding. Forgiveness is an art and it takes time to master but it holds such a powerful key to the life Christ wants you to have. He forgives us every time with so much love & mercy, how can we not do the same?

I want you to pray for any areas in your life that you may be convicted and for God search and know you. Pray that through Him you are able to find the peace through the pain as you take this journey with Him.

I challenge you to read: The Parable of the Unmerciful Servant located in Matthew 18: 21-35.

All of my love,

Hannah B. (2)