Tag: sadness

Barefoot Devotions

Beacons of Light

Hannah B.

Often I hear complacent Christians complaining about this dark world we live in.  As Christians, yes, we can speak about this but we don’t have the right to complain unless we are doing our part.  We are to be light beacons in this dark world and it’s a dark world.  I look around and I see more darkness than I do light.  The light in some people’s eyes has completely gone out.  They don’t have any hope, only sorrow, and despair.

Sin can be appealing because it feels like it’s the only vice that has numbed their pain to make their life tolerable to deal with the repeated disappointment, despair, abuse, addiction, and broken home. We don’t know what goes on beyond closed doors or what havoc the enemy is causing.

Are we persecuting the sin or the sinner? Be concerned for their spiritual well-being. There is a deeper rooted issue under the sin that could be holding them in bondage. People are broken for reasons that may be unspeakable but for crying out loud, love them!  Even if it’s just to love on someone for a moment. One day they may look back at that one act of love and there will be a shadow cast in their darkest days. A shadow that offers a glimmer of hope.

John 1:5 | The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.

They have not experienced God’s perfect love. It has not crashed over them like tidal wave drowning them in this perfect love that can only be found in Jesus Christ.

We must do our part and live out this redeeming love for others. The smallest act of kindness could mean the world for one person. One day they will look back and to them, it would be a light in their darkness.

1 Peter 4:8 | “And above all things have fervent love for one another, for “love will cover a multitude of sins.”

These words are written out of my own experiences and I have felt them down to my innermost being. So many people have been placed strategically in my life and have been like dragonflies lighting the way in my darkness. It’s our turn to light up the darkness that surrounds us and is drowning those around us.

Matthew 5:16 | In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.

I leave you with this: Through Jesus’ blood that was shed on the cross, we have a way to always have His light in our life that turns on life for us and gives us eternal life.

Jesus is my salvation and the only way. Because He has reconciled and redeemed me, I must do my part to share Him with others and live out Christ’s perfect love. I hope you will join spreading me this contagious redeeming love.

John 8:12 | When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.”

With all of my love,

Hannah B.

Barefoot Devotions

A Never Ending Light

Hannah B.

The Discovery

In the thick forest surrounded by darkness that seems to be thick with shadows, she continues to walk along the path that is set out before her. The wind is still stirring around her causing her long dark hair to blow into a tangled mess.

The debris from the last storm has covered most of her path. The aftermath of the storm is making it difficult to judge if she is even on the right path. Her vision is clouded with darkness that seems to be closing in in her.

Determined to fight through, she manages to move her feet forward and shuffle through the shattered pieces and belongings that lie around her. As she looks down and remembers the pieces that were once whole and the story they tell, sadness begins to match the power of darkness.

Once again, she is determined to look toward a light that seems to be pulling her feet forward. Knowing that if she doesn’t look forward, she will surely die. Dying was not option. She was tired of dying over and over through every storm.

Staring at the pieces of her aftermath on the ground, she cried out in desperation, “Surely, this is not what life is!” Deep down she knew she was called for more, but what? What could she possibly do that was worth anything? She was trapped in the tangled mess and broken pieces the storm left behind.

There was the light again. It was so close but yet so far away. It was peaceful and it seemed to have what she so desperately needed. A deep yearning that she did not realize was there. Unsure of where this light was coming from or what it was, it had found her. It was the opposite of everything else she knew, so surely it was good. Surely, it would help her find her way. Still surrounded by darkness, she focused her eyes ahead and chose to follow it with a desire to be enveloped in this light.

As she was walking further down the path, she realized the light grew brighter at her feet. It was leading her away from the storms that never seemed to let up and the aftermath that was left behind.

The closer she walked toward the light, the heavy burdens of being tangled in her mess were coming less worrisome. Though it was still dark, she could see at her very step and it was peaceful because she knew that as she walked toward the light, it would shine before her feet took the next step.

Abba Father. Jesus. My savior. You have searched for me and you found me. You have saved me.

Her name is Faith and this is how she was found.

A Lesson

Although we walk on dark paths in life’s unknowns, we can rest knowing that our Father has already gone before each of our lives. He has strategically planned out our every move, every day of our life, and our every breath.

He has forseen every problem we will face and has already come up with the perfect solution. We don’t need plan A, B, or C because He has the one.

Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

It’s for your benefit. It may be painful as we endure trials, but in the end, the perseverance will lead us to a greater purpose and great joy.

1 Peter 5:10 And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you.

By reading God’s Word and focusing on Jesus, our faith will grow as we begin to understand God’s heart. We are able to trust that He is there with us, has already gone before us, we do not need to fear the darkness because Jesus’ words are the light that will always lead us to our purpose that we were predestined for before we were born.

He is a light that is always twinkling and desires to catch your eye. When we allow darkness to seep in, it will cloud our spiritual eyes like a dark fog. Often we wonder why God has left us? But He has not. We have simply strayed too far down the wrong path, away from Him. It’s up to us to turn around and find Him. Chase Him. Run to Him. Don’t look back.

It’s up to us to turn the light on. We don’t have to look very far because He is closer than our earthly eyes perceive.

Psalm 119:105 – Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path.

 

Xoxo,

Hannah B.

Barefoot Devotions

Struck by fiery arrows

Hannah B.

Six Days Ago

This morning when I woke up, I had every intention of shutting down this site. Ending my calling because it’s too hard. Surely, this is not it. I struggled and wrestled with my thoughts trying to over analyze everyone. Two weeks ago something shifted, call me crazy but something in the atmosphere changed.

Fiery Arrows happened. And again. And again. I felt as though I was pinned to the target, suffocating, and dying emotionally and spiritually.

I pleaded the blood of Jesus. I prayed. I rebuked. I read the Bible over and over. I kept it open all day, glancing down at verses and repeating them as they were the only thing giving my breath back.

I couldn’t take it anymore. I was done. If this is what it is, then byyyeee. Living by the flesh is easier but, ohhh my soul hurt, it grieved the thought of being separated from God.

Those arrows hit me but do you know who came to my rescue and bandaged my oozing wounds?

Jesus.

Whatever it is that you are going through whether it is anxiety, depression, suicidal thoughts, other mental illnesses, trouble with your marriage or relationships, issues with your job or finding a job, addiction, whatever your circumstance is, I want you to know that there is hope.

Fight with every ounce of your being to hold on. Scream if you have to and cry ugly tears but fight and resist the enemy’s attacks. It’s not easy but with Jesus, it’s a little more sweeter. We aren’t designed to carry the burden and weight of the world; He made us for Him so go on and humble yourself and call on His sweet name.

Make that choice.

Xoxo,

Hannah B.

Barefoot Devotions

Not Forgotten

barinmysoul

It always amazes me how distracted we can get on a daily basis and forget how far we have come in life. We do our day to day things and have our day to day issues.  Could be a stressful day with work and kids and so much to do and so little time to do it.  Or I just got paid and now I have no money.

Recently, I was watching a documentary on the Oklahoma City building bombing that sadly happened back in 1995.  I remembered that I had written in my journal just a few short days afterwards about how I had felt about it.  I ran upstairs and grabbed my journal out of my suitcase full of all my teenage memories.  Which is pretty fitting considering I moved around a lot as a child.  My parents were divorced and I found myself going back and forth between the both of them.

So, I started reading my journal which only consisted of a few months from that year. I must have remembered the old saying “don’t print anything on paper that you wouldn’t want broadcasted on the front page of a newspaper” Lol. As I was reading, I couldn’t stop.  All these memories that I had blocked out.  I was such a depressed and lonely teenage girl.  I wanted to reach into that journal and hug her and tell her everything would turn out okay.  My day to day journaling consisted of boy trouble, abuse, feelings of suicide and loneliness.I had wanted to have a closer relationship with Jesus but I found myself drowning in depression and anger.

I do remember times of shaking my fists and screaming out to God to take me out of this world.  To make all this go away.  To save me.  I had no mentor back then. No woman to show me what a life for a girl is supposed to be like.  I lived with my father and my 2 brothers most of the time.  I longed for someone to see into my soul how tormented I was.  I suppose I didn’t know how to articulate any of that at the time.  I only knew how to yell and fight and defend myself.  I only knew how to express how angry and sad I was.  I got myself into quite a bit of trouble. Drugs, alcohol, premarital sex. I stopped caring about myself.

I don’t actually remember much of the details of that time; even the events I wrote about, but I do remember making my mind up at some point that I was going to look forward to the future and hold onto that last thread of hope that God was real and what I’ve learned my whole life was true and that Jesus loved me and hadn’t forgotten me.

Now, as I look around at my beautiful house and the peace in this house I see how God did deliver me.  I have wonderful children.  I didn’t do too much in my life in the right order but God still blessed me none the less.  God saw through my soul and saw my pain and He delivered me.  He set me on solid ground.  I may have messed up in so many ways but being the Sovereign God He is; picked me up, dusted me off and pushed me forward.  What an amazing mighty God we serve. And the thing is, I may have just been reminded of  some of the pain I went through growing up and some of the awful things that were said to me or done to me but I’m also reminded that I am blessed and I survived. That I was saved and He did hear my cries and I was delivered from all of it.  I don’t have to feel sad about it anymore. I don’t have to be angry.  I can forgive and I am forgiven.

The annoyances that happen in my day to day are nothing compared to what The Lord God brought me out of so many years ago.

Looking back I don’t even recognize that girl in that journal.  I know that God has transformed me.  He has worked on my heart and has mended all my little holes and patched all those rips and tears.  There may be scars but they are no longer wounds.

If you are going through a time in your life where you feel like nobody could possibly understand what you are going through or you feel like you are alone; I am a living testament that you are never alone.  God does hear you and even if you don’t see his work yet, He is working on your behalf.  It is always in the right time.

He knows perfectly and strategically where you are at in your grief or your anger or your sadness.  He knows what you need and when you need it. He knows when you are open and ready to receive it. When you can lay it all down and get on your knees and recognize that He does have your back you are ready to receive it.

If you don’t have a mentor or somebody to reach out to that will listen and pray for you or pray with you, I encourage you to get out your bible and pray.  I encourage you to find a bible based church to go to and do not isolate yourself. Reach out to other people or your pastor and ask them to pray with you.  You are loved and you are never forgotten.

Luke 12:7- “But even the very hairs of your head are all numbered.  Fear not therefore: ye are of more value than many sparrows”.

Valerie C.

Barin my Soul

Barefoot Devotions

The Beauty In Brokenness

Hannah B.

Brokenness. A word that often reminds me of past hurts and perhaps even hurts that are fresh on your heart. Unfortunately, we live in a broken world and are bound to face a trial and tribulation during our life. Everyone has some sort of brokenness that they have moved on from or have allowed to take over their mind. Maybe the pain has caused some hearts to harden.

No matter what you have experienced in life, your hurts are yours and you are allowed to feel the emotions that come along with them. They make you, you but we can’t allow them to get the best of us. To me, the most amazing thing is that God already knows what we feel and what we think. Even when we can’t express them ourselves, He knows. I hope that you have discovered that during your trials, God is there and there is an ultimate reason for your suffering. It sucks. There isn’t a nicer way to say it but I’ve learned to step back and ask God, “What is the take away from this, what am I missing? Show me. Make it as clear as hitting me in the head with a cast iron skillet because you know I’m not going to get it right away.” Yeah. I pray that. Jesus knows I need that extra bam.

I’ve recently had a trial of my own that I thought I was okay and I would just move along. Today had other plans for me. Feelings of hurt, betrayal, and anger consumed me like a raging fire. Thank God for the people He has placed in my life to speak truth to me when I need it and especially when I am at my weakest and most ugliest self.

I found myself in prayer and luckily I got my extra bam today. Even if it wasn’t what my flesh wanted, it was what my soul needed. And that my friends are the best outcome.

Only God can take someone that is broken and make them whole again. In that there is real beauty as Our Maker puts us back together. Not just beauty that surpasses anything we could ever imagine but in the end we will be perfectly put together by the hands of Jesus.

Until then I will enjoy allowing Jesus to take my broken pieces and mend them back together because even though it hurts there is refuge in His arms. The peace He allows to radiate through me is far better than any fleshly emotion I could ever feel. And you know what the best part is, He isn’t finished with me. In the end, I will be put together perfectly by His perfect hands for His perfect purpose.

My love,

Hannah B. (2)