wanderer – Collective Circle Gathering

As I listen to the rain that is falling in the holler, I am reminded that God’s love is as gentle and refreshing as the rain.

It’s calming and will make you want to stand outside with your arms up feeling the drops fall on your face. You might even laugh. You might cry. It’s welcoming.

When the wind picked up, you could hear the howling through the windows, the raindrops were more forceful, and the tree branches looked like they could snap at any moment, and the lights flickered on and off.

You might be scared. Maybe you’ll cry for different reasons. Perhaps you will be outside attempting to pick up the shambles.

True repentance and reverence for the LORD comes with a gentle rainfall of God’s love and a nudging from the Holy Spirit. A person is more likely to accept they are a sinner in need of a Savior if it’s gentle and pure of love.

The more we run, the harder the rain falls. The more reckless the love of God becomes and His nudges are harder. The stronger the storm and the aftermath will be more devastating.

When the storm comes, you will seek shelter. Maybe you will want to continue running through the destruction and in the direction of the heavy winds and strong winds.

I was born and raised in a Baptist Church and God always existed in my life, there wasn’t any question. Like most, I sinned and lived a life rebelling against what I was taught. I was so overcome with my family issues, the death of my dad, and all the questions like if God loved me, then why did He let this happen to me? Why would He let me have this kind of life? Caught up in pain, confusion, doubt, and trying to figure out the meaning of life, if God was really God, then this wouldn’t even be a question I’d have to ask. Right? Oh, how wrong I was. I became a wanderer in this old world but a storm came. It was a journey I had to experience on my own.

The slow, gentle, peaceful but reckless love of God that fell like rain turned me back around.

We must portray this same love to our fellow human beings. That’s our job as Christians. We are called to love and by loving others we display the love Jesus wants us to. His true love.

It’s up to Him to decide how strong the storm is and how much devastation there will be. It’s not ours and we cannot step out of our place, and cause our own storm in someone else’s life.

Our second job is to live a life that glorifies Christ so others will see His light shining through us. God used many people on my journey to light the way toward my repentance and to remove me from being a complacent Christian.

In my personal experience, I can tell you that telling them about their sin, shoving repentance down their throat and smacking them over the head with our Bible is not going to work. It’s the opposite of Christ’s love. It’s important to share God’s word in a loving way that glorifies Him and doesn’t hinder the process of the other person. We are to be the calm and gentle rain and Allow the Holy Spirit do the rest.

This blog is my heart laid out to each and every one of you. It’s my journey back to God and Christianity especially for those who feel undeserving of having a relationship with Jesus, for those who have been turned off by Christianity, or need a safe place to be a wanderer for just a little while longer.*

I promise to be as loving and gentle as I can. I will put the sinner before the sin because the sinner is a human loved by God. I agree that repentance is crucial but there is a better way of reaching it through love and at Barefoot In A Holler, this is how we are doing it.

The last time I visited home, I went to my uncle’s church and He said, “My prodigal daughter has returned.”

I have returned. It was a long journey but I went back to my roots. I went back to the truth. Wherever you are, Jesus is calling.

*No one is promised tomorrow and Hell is real, and we have to have Jesus in our hearts and believe that He is the only begotten Son Of God. Please look up John 3:16.

All of my love to y’all,

Hannah B.

As I was studying the pages of Exodus, I couldn’t help but read with excitement about the events God was bringing about for the Israelite’s to escape slavery in chapter 14. You know something amazing is about to happen when God says, “I WILL”. We can expect something to happen.

He miraculously delivered them from the hands of Pharaoh – sending them out of Egypt with everything they would need. The Red Sea was parted for them to cross through on dry land. The angel of God and the pillar of cloud that was in front of them the entire time of their journey and they moved behind them when Pharaoh’s army was getting closer.

Supernatural protection was before them and when they were safe for running into the home stretch – the angel and pillar of cloud moved behind them so they didn’t have to look back.

A few more pages in, they were grumbling and saying their life would have been better enslaved to the Egyptians; there they sat around pots of meat and ate all they wanted. The LORD heard their grumbling and He provided every time despite their complaints about God. They were satisfied for a few days and they would praise the LORD and dance; then grumbling words would flow off of the same tongue they used to praise the LORD, again.

Not only did they just witness some of the greatest miracles of all time, they knew firsthand that God saw the people through each event until it reached its completion.

Please read for the fullness of God’s word:

Exodus Ch. 14 – Crossing the Red Sea

Exodus Ch. 15 – Praising to Grumbling In 20 Seconds

Exodus Ch. 16 – Manna & Quail

Within these chapters, we can pinpoint the downfall of their faith:

1) Disobedience

We are often given tests in life that will determine God’s next steps in our life. There is always something to learn from our current situation that God wants to use to better our character, to build our relationship with Him, and to grow our faith. Often times we find ourselves unable to move forward in obedience to what the LORD has revealed for us to do. Regardless of our fear and doubt, we must act in our faith.

Exodus 14:19-20 tells us that angels were surrounding the Israelites during this time and clearly indicates that they had protection before, during, and after. If the Israelites had this kind of protection from God to endure their trials, then He gives us the same protection to endure our tests and trials.

2) Just In Case – I have Backdoor Faith

If you look closely at the Israelites you will see several examples of how they would have a plan to provide their needs just in case God’s fell through. They never fully trusted God to provide and they had doubt. They were instructed to only gather how much manna they needed otherwise whatever left over would be ruined by morning. Instead of fully trusting that God would provide all of their needs, they decided to save food for the next day just in case God did not provide food. By doing this, they proved they did not fully trust God and their faith was not genuine.

3. They Grumbled

After crossing the Red Sea, the people praised and feared God. They worshiped Him with song and dance but a few days later they were grumbling with the same tongue they used to praise God! Even though they were rescued from slavery, delivered safely through the Red Sea, and given water and food when they needed it, they still grumbled and kept repeating their cycle over and over. They didn’t expect God to carry them through the obstacles they faced

This left me asking God,

“Why is it so hard to be obedient without grumbling, especially after witnessing God’s protection and miracles?”

The moment I felt conviction from the Holy Spirit and him say, “Child, you know. Aren’t you in the wilderness now after witnessing my miracles?”

I fell to my knees, repenting and asking God to forgive me for my grumbling and complaining as I realized what I had done and the way I had reacted out of despair, grief, loneliness, and fleshly desires.

Over a year ago, my family moved to a holler in the middle of nowhere – going nowhere. This was the most amazing miracle our family could have received. We were given a fresh start on a new journey. Chains were broken and we were released. Even to this day, the miracles are still being unveiled and I all I can do is worship the LORD for His goodness to remove us when the time was right.

Answers to the majority of my heartache this year have been coming to light the last week or so. Once again, I found myself heartbroken over events that happened almost a year ago but God provided an answer that would quickly turn my heartache to praise. For those reasons, I thank God that He moved us from our street I held so dearly to my heart, our first house, and our secular friends and lifestyle. Our family is whole, together, and we are intact.

Although my flesh is lonely and craving the things and people of the past – even though they were bad for me. If I was there, I probably would have given into the flesh and had “just in case back door faith”. Swayed by the secular influences that surrounded us living a life according to the flesh. Instead, my spirit is full, redeemed, and reconciled through Jesus. I can embrace this place He has placed me and I can do it with a thankful and glad heart.

Thank you, God, for isolating me in this wilderness because this is a holy place, this is where you are.

Sometimes we need to embrace our wilderness because it’s bound to come with a God that says, “I WILL”. We can choose to live in the wilderness with a thankful heart or with a grumbling heart. The adversary wants us to think we are alone but in reality, we are enclosed with God’s presence behind us and in front of us.

The wilderness isn’t supposed to be a place of comfort. It’s a place full of tests, trials, pruning and a time to be obedient to God.

It’s a holy place you were called to so you can experience the fullness of God.

No matter where you are in your wilderness, you are surrounded by the presence of God. Don’t be so consumed by your flesh that you ignore the wilderness and you miss the point. Just ask Him to reveal Himself to you and make Himself known to you. Just a simple prayer like that and He will.

Xoxo,

Hannah B.

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Tag: wanderer

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